 His legacy |
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Seeing You for the last time and living the first year without you
A year ago today I saw you for the last time. I gave you a kiss and a hug against your cold lifeless body, afraid of forgetting what you looked like. It all brought me to my knees. Today I have not forgotten what you look like and I have given you a hug and a kiss when you've come to me in my dreams.
In this past year, I have tried with all my might to find ways to give tribute to your life to find peace in my heart and to keep your memory alive. If I had to sum it all up it has been an emotional rollercoaster ride. There has been a challenge to everything I have attempted to do with the exception of keeping you close to my heart.. But in everything I have done to give tribute to your life, or in ways I have tried to keep your memory alive for others, and even in the way I have wanted to decorate your grave, others have interfered with heartless callous, encounters.
The cemetery has decided that the way I choose to decorate your resting place as tacky such as wind chimes in the trees that I have purchased myself. When I approach the Board of Directors they have decided to change the rules and apply them solely to me, taking the wind chimes down only in your trees, leaving other's alone.
You left us your car. A huge part of your heart and soul over several years, only to have someone steal it six months to the day we lost you. Once recovered, tore up and wrecked, we thought, OK, we will take what we have and fix it to make you proud and show it off in car shows. “Our tribute to you: The licensed plate reads, “RTRIB2U:” It hasn't been that no one seems to care or understand the meaning or strong emotions of wanting fix your car up right. but we have encountered way too any businesses that care only about getting what they can and not delivering on what they have been paid to do.
Then there is the roadside memorial cross that your siblings and closest friends made for you. It too was stolen recently. I made another one and replaced it and we all went out and redecorated it. Who knows how long it will be before some idiot, uncaring people steal it again, but I will keep replacing it, just as I will continue to decorate your grave in the way my heart desires. I will remain strong in dealing with all these car guys that think for one moment they can take advantage of me. Will all my might I will accomplish what I have set out to do regardless of the challenges others wish to throw my way. Every time they do, I find more strength in fighting back and knowing one day Karma has a way of equaling things out. I do hope in the next year more things will fall into place for I am determined to keep your memory alive until the day I died, even if it kills me.
Your family and friends met at the cemetery on the one year anniversary date, launching a huge balloon release. We all wrote messages on them for you. I hope you were able reach out for them as they were full of love for you.
I love you from the deepest depths of my heart and am so saddened that you have left, but I find comfort in all my attempts to give tribute to your life even if at times it is quite frustrating. In my heart and soul you are worth it. I will stay strong with weak moments until the day I soar with you again. I know you are looking down on us giving us that big genuine, dimpled grin saying the same thing. "Everyone who has tried to do us wrong will have to cross over and give answer to their deeds.
Your loving Mom
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To my son
 
To My Son
Born on a day filled with life & hope
A genuine man, a mother’s pride
Now I must learn to cope,
In a new reality, with stride
Your life, taken in a heart’s jolt
Ambitions and dreams shattered
All coming to a halt
We want back what mattered
Countless lives you touched
Thoughts of what could have been
You are loved so much
Hearts broken and yet to mend
My heart! Touched so deep
A depth unknown until you were gone
This painful journey is mine to keep
A new reality, finding a way to go on
Do I really need to say Goodbye,
To free your spirit with grace from this place?
This is such a difficult task, and why,
For all I want, is to see your face
Never, No
You will forever live on
My heart will never let go
This is a mother’s bond
Died on a day filled with life & hope
Gone is a genuine man, a mother’s pride
Now I must learn cope
In a new reality, with stride
I love you, miss you and in my journeys' end will again see you
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Eulogy by Adam Winters
 Austin’s Final Goodbye
There are not enough words in the dictionary that explains the friendship between Austin and I. We has a special kind of relationship I had with no other friends of mind. I have my friends, but Austin was my best friend. Austin and I first met in the 5th grade when I moved to Haysville. We became friends right away. Ever since then, we have been together through just about everything. We played baseball together, we went to parties together, we did all sorts of things together, but the most fun thing we did together was grow up. There is not a thing I can do now that doesn’t remind me of him. When I get into my car I think about him, when I go to the mall I think about him, when I play sports I think about him. The list is endless. Austin got me into just about everything I do now. If it weren’t for Austin I wouldn’t be into cars like I am now. When I get out of the military, Austin and I had plans on moving to California and starting our own shop together and hoping to make it big. .I still might continue that dream, but it won’t ever be the same. If it weren’t for Austin, well, I don’t know where I would be today. He has helped me a lot in becoming the person I am today. Austin has been a severe role in my life. I can’t speak for Austin, but I can tell you he was always there for me when I needed him and I was there when he needed me. Austin was one of the best people I ever knew. He had a great amount of people that loved him. Everyone has their enemies but I can honestly say Austin didn’t have any that I ever knew about. Austin was a great person who will never be forgotten. Friends come and go, but best friends are forever. Best friends are best man’s, best friends are there for you when your children are born, best friends are there for every occasion. Although he will never be able to attend these occasions and I will never be able to attend his wedding, or be there when his children are born, he will be in my heart forever. So no matter where he is now, a piece of him will be in my heart forever, and that, I will take to my own grave where we will meet again….
.I Love You Austin, Always and Forever
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Eulogy by Dara Song
Austin
When Pam told me that I was able to give a eulogy at the funeral, the first thought that came to my head was “How am I going to be able to speak about someone whom many would consider to be an individual that never really spoke about himself?” But anybody who truly knew Austin, knew that even though he never really spoke much, that didn’t mean that he never had anything to say.
Anybody who had the privilege of being a friend or even a close acquaintance of Austin’s sensed the generosity, compassion and realness of a genuine person. The Austin you saw was the Austin you got, no frills about it. The attitude was not only reflected in his personality and his relationship towards the people he cared for, but in his work as well.
Austin was one of the hardest working friends I have ever had. Everything he did, whether it was helping me put the short-shifter in my stubborn car, or helping me clear the carts at the K-Mart parking lot, he always exuded 100% effort and never hesitated to go the extra distance in order to help someone.
Not only being an intelligent and gifted individual, he was a very passionate person. He was passionate about his family, his friends, and his work, especially his car. I remember back when Austin got his first body kit and I at the time lived just a block away from him. I had to be at work at 4:00p, so as I headed up there around 3:45. I saw Austin; on his lawn, on his knees, sanding his brand new front bumper, prepping it for paint. Imagine my disbelief to find Austin, six and a half hours later, still in the same spot on his lawn with not only his front bumper completely sanded and perfectly prepped, but his whole kit was also complete. This was a job that most professionals would take a couple of days to complete and Austin had it done in just a matter of hours. When I drove by, I decided to stop by and see his progress. Once again, much to my shock, he informed me that the only time he moved was to answer the phone, and then proceeded to tell the person on the other line that he couldn’t talk because he was busy working on his car. That car was his canvas and his creativity was the paint. There was no doubt in my mind that Austin had the ability to do very special things.
When I think about this, it makes me realize that it is true; the end result of any goal or task you try and achieve is a direct reflection of the pride and confidence in which you put forth into it. Austin had that effect on you; he’d teach you something about yourself without actually trying to. This is the Austin that I will remember.
Even though I am sure that most of us, it we had the ability to, would turn back the hands of time and would have kept you from getting your motorcycle, but we realize that along with your car and the support of your family and your friends, you had the time of your life doing something you truly loved. And that you died doing something, we all know in our hearts, you enjoyed every minute of.
And once again you taught me another lesson. You taught me that regardless of how careful you are, regardless of how responsible you may be, life can be taken away from you with a snap of a finger. Austin, you were taken from us way prematurely and before you even had your time to shine. We know you had your goals and the drive to achieve each and every one of them. You taught me that life is very, very precious and that there isn’t time to waste. You made me, along with everyone else, come to terms that we are not guaranteed tomorrow and that we need to live for today, do what we feel is right and what makes us happy.
And despite you not being here, not being able to let us see your mischievous ear-to-ear smile physically again, we will all have an image of you in our hearts. And I know that one day, along with all the people that care for you, will see each again.
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Article from the Campus High School Special Newsletter May 16, 2005 by jacke macmartin
LOST BUT NOT FORGOTTON
By Jackie MacMartin
Growing up for many young people is a slow painful process. However, as we grow older and look back, these were the ‘best’ days of our lives. Starting high school, getting a job, graduating high school, college, moving out and finally beginning a career. Making many mistakes along the way and learning for yourself the rights and wrongs of life, you finally realize who you are.
Recently however, an incident in my life has caused me to rethink the way I look at these events. Someone very close to my family was taken in an instant. No goodbye, no I love you, NOTHING. He will never know that I was going to marry him, he will never know what life is all about; he will never know the feeling of being a father. He was killed at the age of 20. Three days after purchasing a crotch rocket, Austin Tyler Gains was killed from an accident. Just beginning to learn the ropes of riding, he was still very inexperienced. Although, the cause of the accident is still unknown, the investigators are sure the accident was not caused by a driving problem and that speed was not involved. Nor was he trying to do stunts; Austin was smarter than that. He knew he was not experienced enough or in the right place-Zoo Boulevard.
As one of Austin’s best friends my brother, Adam, wrote a very powerful speech that he read at his funeral. (See Eulogy by Adam Winters) Austin was very loved by many people. The closest people to him were his family, His brother Dal had this to say about him, “Austin was my brother and we had a brothers love, which is so great that they nick-named a city after it. There was so much I wanted to tell him and talk to him about. Now I will never be able to. So I just wanted to tell everyone not to ponder on the little problems you may have, something may happen and you would never be able to talk to them again. I love you, Austin, rest in peace.”
Every day I live I will remember him and his family. Right now, has to be one of the hardest times in all of their lives, and for that I will keep in my prayers. I now can understand the sayings, “Live life to the fullest” and “Take time to smell the roses”. We never know when out time has come or what destiny has for us, for this reason never take for granted a time to say I love you. In loving memory of Austin Tyler Gains
Sincerely
Jackie Mac Martin
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Christmas without you
Christmas without you
How could it be
I’m feeling so blue
And no one understands me
How do I celebrate
I just don’t know how
Cause what once was great
Is so different now
This is all new
You not here with us
I haven’t a clue
How to do this thing we must
The choice is not ours
Day by day we are forced
To journey through the hours
With our hearts coerced
I will do my best
To get through this
But my heart cannot rest
For you are so missed
I wish you could be here
Although I know you can’t
Your spirit will always bear
Where your presence once danced
Christmas without you
How could it be
I guess it must be the view
That was meant for me
I miss you and love you and
I pray you found peace, warmth and comfort
When you crossed onto the shore of the spiritual land
Mom
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